• Marie-anne Rouse

My Therapy Session

Wow ……where do I even start!

So let us just start at the beginning of what happened the other day …

I had a meeting to go to and a training session to cover.

And instead….. texted a business associate and ask him to do it for me…..no explanation…..just an “I NEED YOU TO DO THIS FOR ME TODAY!” and this was like…..an hour before the meeting!

There was no way that I was going to do it myself and be in the right frame of mind to even do it.

I count my blessings as I am surrounded by people that I know I can count on at the drop of a hat.

I count my blessings as I have built a business that I can do from home (or anywhere I am) and I count my blessings that when I need to ……I can press that pause button.

That day was not an easy day for me.

I realize not everyone loves animals and for me, my fur babies are family.

If you have fur babies that are like family…… you can relate.

We had been given more time than we thought with our cat Mango.  After all, we were surprised that he even lived to see another Christmas …….and then another New Year!

Mango was getting closer and closer to celebrating his 19th birthday!

But the tell tale signs were there.  Getting finicky about food….. no matter what new food we tried.  

Then……. that Thursday………. He decided he was no longer going to eat or drink.

We have been through this before with our rottweiler, beautiful Kalani, but still doesn’t make it any easier. 

By the time I got up on Friday morning, I knew Mango’s time was coming to a close…….I  just did not know if I had moments…… minutes……. hours or a couple of days.

I knew I needed to stay home with Mango and I am glad that I did.

His vision went very quickly….it was like his pupils vanished!

His ears were cold.

He was having a hard time standing up so I wrapped him in a towel and carried him around like a baby rocking him ……talking to him …….just being with him.

I held him until his very last breath.

At this point, I am in tears.  One is never prepared 100% for that moment.  Wrapped him up like a burrito and set him in a cardboard box that I had put aside.  I wanted to wait for my husband to come home.

Barely a few minutes later, I went back to the box as my heart raced thinking that maybe he wasn’t dead and that I was suffocating him.  I know……he was dead but is simply what was going thru my mind and I had a moment of panic. Now, what I did not expect was for rigor mortis to have set in so quickly!  His little body was solid and heavy! And I totally lost it. The realness hit me hard.

I waited for my husband to get home. He had already prepared the hole for Mango….. his last resting place next to Kalani.

Sometimes I feel like I’m totally fine and then all of a sudden I’ll start crying all over again.

I am thankful to be surrounded by people that I can count on to steer the ship when I need to step back.

I am thankful to have a business where I can press that pause button when I need to take that break.

And I Thank you for reading today’s blog.   I know it is not the traditional happy, or encouraging, or motivational/educational blog…… this is part of my healing process to write about it .

Until next time…. Make Tomorrow Amazing……It starts with You Today!

Marie-anne A.K.A. Mom

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